Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fuck My Life....

So he uses one of the numbers I got him.

 He said he went to meet the lady. Well it's about 30 mins driving. Bus longer. Well he said he got there in 30 minutes. Which I was like "okkayyyy" they apparently gave him a drug test. Negative. Which is weird because he said he used Meth and weed. I get negative for meth but weed.

 So I let it go.

The lady told him he is experiencing acute withdrawal . That just because he used once during his "sobriety" doesn't mean he relapsed. So he needs meetings. Well. He was walking and said his mom wanted to pick him up. I asked where he was he said his feet hurt so he stopped at a little restaurant. I asked again and he said he was at a kfc by our house and his mom was there.


So she takes him back to the aunts house In which he stole from. They took him to eat and pretty much told him I am not mentally good for his well being and that they dont wanna hear about their son. Okay whatever . They said that in 3 days he has changed. And they see a difference in him. And gave him back his car and next week he will get his phone back.

 Pretty much they enabled him.

Is his mother serious? When I heard this I thought, "She is asking him to use, use her, use his family and eventually die from it" I was appaled that she went to scoop him up because he had convinced her he has changed.

Last night he was talking about how 3 days in the street and now living on his own has made him better. This morning he asked if we can work it out. He said that he is so much better now and he knows things will be better. He said past events won't happen again....

I told him I can't do it. I'm crying and I can't do it. He hasn't helped himself. His mom gave him back the car and going to give him back the phone in which she pays for!! I told him that I just can't keep crying and I wanna be happy...he said "it won't ever happen again and I am changed. I feel brand new!"

The gullible side of me is : Wow...we an do this

But the realistic side of me knows I cannot put myself through anymore pain. If I do--I may just end up in a mental rehab or honestly, I may just end up to the point where I don't wanna live anymore.

I sat in my car and just balled.

Can someone please explain to me how an ADDICT changes in 3 days...

Can someone please explain to me how an Addict does drugs one day, "just one day Stef-It was just a hit" and that is NOT  a relapse???

Just please SOMEONE answer these two questions...